Why affirmations (sometimes) don't work

I've read hundreds of self help books and I'm frequently struck by the claims that many authors make for repeating a daily affirmation. Over the years I've known many who subscribe to this advice and yet have seen few who actually benefitted from affirmations. Why?

By writing this blog I've had a lot of fun playing with ideas to see what will work for me. So in the interest of displaying my lack of wisdom I've tried;

* repeating affirmations word for word as recommended various authors

* listened repeatedly to affirmations on tapes, videos, CDs and on the computer

* wrote my own affirmations out and tried repeating them daily

* tried affirmations once per day and up to 20 times per day

NONE of those techniques worked for me! There are several reasons why it didn't work for me and probably won't for you either;

* you say the words but you don't believe what you are saying

* you are not employing your brain power with mindless repetition of a phrase

* your brain gets bored and tunes out

* a confused mind says NO

For those of you who follow this blog, you know by now that I have some pretty wacky beliefs that I am quite proud of. Crazy beliefs like:

"Life was meant to be fun, easy and abundant"

I certainly didn't have a belief like that for most of my life. But today I totally believe that statement. So how did I change my belief (and my life). Here is my big secret.....with 3" X 5" index cards. This has also become my de facto method to;

* make it easy to write articles like this

* generate business ideas

* plan parties

* solve problems

* seduce the world (not ready to share this one with the world yet, but soon)

* write speeches

* and much more...

"as a friend said, this is so damn simple and easy...just like you Eduardo"

So lets take a common problem and show how my simple method works. Let's imagine that you have a weight problem. In your head your self talk might be something like...."I know I'm fat, I can't loose weight...it's too damn hard" A belief like that is like a bent coin in a vending machine, it just won't work!

Ah hah, I can hear you saying....dumb ass Eduardo....try saying it in a positve way like, I am healthy and fit. Good idea but that doesn't work either. Yes, it is positive but it is also not believable since you know you are fat and lazy and not healthy and fit. And after a short while your brain becomes bored and drifts away to thoughts of ice cream and chocolate instead of salads and the gym.

Here's the little change that makes the big difference! Change the affirmation to something like this.....HOW I AM BECOMING FIT AND HEALTHY or WHY I LOVE BECOMING FIT AND HEALTHY. Now your logical brain says...ok, I'm not fit and healthy but I can become it one day. So your brain buys into the logic...you can start to believe it. And more importantly you have given yourself something to think and daydream about...the how and the why.

"lazy brains like to daydream and that's why they are more productive"

This is getting interesting, right? Ok, here's the final part. Now write out your affirmation on an index card and put it where you will see it often...in the car, on the computer or bathroom mirror. Now when you glance at the card go ahead and daydream about it. Think about being healthy and fit AND how you are going to do it. When inspiration wacks you upside the idea with some idea, jot it down on the reverse side of the card. Easy...simple!

As you go about your daily duties, allow yourself to daydream about being healthy and fit and the benefits you will recieve. Mostly pay attention to how you will feel. And keep jotting down those little thoughts about how to get there on the back of the card. Just repeating an affirmation like a robot won't get you anthing but collecting thoughts and ideas will do wonders.

Now, you are using your brain power just like Einstein and Plato, contemplating where you want to go. And what it will feel like when you get there. Just try it, you have nothing to lose.

Smile, it is easier and a lot more fun to seduce life then it is to try and conquer it!

Eduardo

You matter when...

You matter when....

When you love the work you do and the people you do it with.

When you are so gracious and generous and aware that you think of other people before yourself.

When you leave the world a better place than you found it.

When you continue to raise the bar on what you do and how you do it.

When you teach and forgive and teach more before you rush to judge and demean.

When you touch the people in your life through your actions (and your words).

When kids grow up wanting to be you (or inspired by you).

When you see the world as it is, but insist on making it more like it coul be.

When you inspire a Nobel prize winner or a slum dweller.

When the room brightens when you walk in.

And when the legacy you leave behind lasts for hours, days or a lifetime.

CONFESSION TIME; I swiped this from Seth Godin's excellent blog!

Eduardo

BONUS; If people concentrated on the really important things in life, there would be a shortage of fishing poles!

Commedians as Philosophers

I got thinking to myself, where are the philosophers? Who are todays version of Plato and Socrates? Well amigos I found a group of people who qualify and they are the comedians. If you don't believe me, check out some of things they had to say and even though some are funny, see if you don't agree with me...there is wisdom!

Robin Williams (my personal favorite)

"if women ran the world we wouldn't have wars, just really intense negotiations every 28 days"

"see the problem is God gave man a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time"

Groucho Marx

"time wounds all heels"

"I must say that I find TV very educational. The moment someone turns it on, I go read a book"

Jack Benny

"age is strictly a case of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter"

Bob Hope

"if you haven't any charity in your heart, you have the worst kind of heart disease"

Bill Cosby

"a word to the wise isn't necessary, it's the stupid one's that need the advice"

"every closed eye is not sleeping and every open eye is not seeing"

"sex education may be a good thing in schools. Just don't give the kids homework"

"women don't want to hear what we think. They want to hear what they think, only in a deeper voice"

Woody Allen

"it's not that I'm afraid to die, I just don't want to be there when it happens"

Rosanne Barr

"of course men are better at reading maps. Only the mind of man could conceive of one inch equalling a hundred miles"

Erma Bombeck

"never lend your car to someone you gave birth to"

George Best

"I spent all of money on booze, fast cars and women. The rest I just wasted"

Will Rogers

"the only time people dislike gossip, is when it is about them"

Smile, and enjoy your weekend

Eduardo

Inner calmness

I am passing this on to you because itdefinitely works, and we could all use a little more calmness in our lives.

By following simple advice heard on the Dr. Phil show, you too can find inner peace. Dr. Phil proclaimed, 'The way to achieveinner peace is to finish all the things you have started and have never finished.'

So, I looked around my house to see all the things I started and hadn't finished, and before leaving the house this morning;

I finished off a bottle of WhiteZinfandel,

a bottle of Bailey's Irish Cream,

a package of Oreos,

the remainder of an old Prozac prescription,

the rest of the cheesecake,

some Doritos, and a box of chocolates.

You have no idea how freaking good I feel rightnow. Pass this on to those whom you think mightbe in need of inner peace

Eduardo

P.S. This was sent to me by my amigo Yoda, thanks for the laugh!

Happy Birthday Jared and Antowaine

(that's my son Jared on the right and his little amigo Antowaine who both have birthdays this week)

Love Dad

It's not who you know...

"it's not who you know,it's who you know that likes you"

I've been writing for the last year about how to make our lives; fun, easy and over-flowing with abundance. Lately, I've been wondering...what is the easiest way to accomplish that? If there was just one thing that could impact our lives in a positive way, what would it be?

In search of an answer, I tried to think of who I knew that seemed to have a charmed, happy and profitable life? I could think of many people, some I knew and some I read about. So I asked myself, what do they have in common? And the answer is....."they are all likeable"

People who are likeable tend to get the best jobs, build the best companies, have more friends, better relationships and enjoy life more. Sounds good, right? But that doesn't even touch the benefits of being likeable. Here are a few more benefits;

* Doctors give more time and better care to patients they like

* Likeability is the most consitent predictor of election results

* Likeable people inspire others to give more

* They get better and quicker service from retail businesses

* Likeable students get better marks from teachers

* They get forgiven quicker for misdeeds (I need that one)

* They have better physical and mental health

* Live longer and happier lives

There's more but you get the point. Things come quicker and easier for likeable people. We favor them and do what we can to make their lives fun, easy and abundant. And this amigos is one of the biggest secrets I've ever learned...

"it isn't the choices we make about other people that makes life enjoyable, it's the choices they make about us"

There will always be the foolish few who actually prefer to go it alone. Their attitude is I don't need other people to make it. And with supreme effort, they still succeed. I'm just not one of those who wants to make any more effort than is necessary to reach my desires. If others want to help me out and make my life easier, I say welcome onboard.

Life is fun, easy and abundant when others want you to succeed because they like you. I've decided that at Eduardo's Happy School, the first subject taught will be....How to be more likeable! I can't think of a more important subject. My graduates will all be taught this vital skill and as a result will be world leaders in likeability.Now that we have established that the most important skill to attain in life, is likeability, the obvious question is how?

I've been researching and applying my limited brain power to provide you some answers. Appreciating the limited brain power aspect you will have give me more time.....so come back tomorrow! I promise you some fresh insights. I might even go into more depth than the ever popular method of...buying the first round.

Smile, I really, really like you!

Eduardo

Zen

"to be calm while others are losing
their heads is an incredible advantage"

I've been reading a couple of books about Zen Buddism and am fascinated with the benefits and teachings of it. I'm not about to become a disciple or try to convert you to anything. I do though find some value in it for me. I think we are all in need of a little extra serenity and calm in our lives. This seems like a valid path.

Research is increasingly showing that we have too much stimulation in our lives. Stress levels are getting out of control especially with the current world economic situation. And when things aren't going our way we pile on worry, another negative emotion.

So whether we listen to calming music, take a walk in the park or meditate, we need some way of calming ourselves and decreasing the stimulation. This is especially true if you live in an urban setting. It's near impossible to think clearly when our brains are over-loaded with stimulation.
Just like we need sleep to rest our bodies and mind, we also need calm during our day to refresh and recharge the mind. Think of it as an adult recess break. The key here is to slow down the stimulation.

"he who is of a calm and happy nature,
will hardly feel the pressure of age,
but to him who is of an opposite disposition,
youth and age are an equal burden" Plato

Smile, who knew...doing nothing was the answer again?

Eduardo

BONUS; I was standing in the park wondering why Frisbee's got bigger as they got closer. Then it hit me! (unknown)